(5/10)
Any guy who had HBO and was a teenager in the mid-80’s no doubt has fond memories of this one. It
was on all the time (it must have cost them a nickel to run) and is loaded with gratuitous female nudity.
What’s not to love?
Well, watch it as an adult and find out. It’s not terrible, but it’s not very good. It’s very average, and
actually pretty slow-moving junk.
This is clearly the fallout from the “Flashdance” attack – looking at this now really drives home the point
of what a phenomenon that silly little dancing movie was and how it really impacted culture as we know
it.
Betsy Russell, the snooty and constantly naked rich girl everyone hated in “Private School,” here
extends her considerable acting arsenal by taking on the opposite role - that of the grumpy and
constantly naked poor girl everyone seems to tolerate. And she’s as brilliant here as she was in the
earlier film. Actually, whether she’s the prissy boarding school girl who never wants to get her hands
dirty or the tomboy mechanic who’s hands are always dirty, she seems equally snippy. No one does
snippy quite like the extraordinarily talented Ms. Russell, which makes her lead character a bit hard to
really give a shit about.
Granted, almost every guy in the movie is a jerk, a degenerate, an egomaniac, a weasel, or even a
potential rapist, but my wife still had to comment at one point what a bitch the she was. We get very little
insight into how she became such a great mechanic, why she doesn’t date, and whatever happened to
her astronaut father, and we don’t really care.
Plus, naming the character Tommy or ‘Tomasina Boyd’ is tacky beyond belief – it’s worse than say,
naming her grating, slutty best friend Seville. This is, of course, so she can quip that she’s ‘like the
Cadillac Seville - but more expensive.’ Actually she’s not even close – she’s really quite cheap and
throws herself at anyone that can do anything for her modeling/acting/dancing career which allows for
not one but two horrid musical numbers and some additional nude scenes.
Anyway, the story has Tommy and Seville getting mixed up with the town millionaire jackass Ernie Leeds
Jr. (played with masterful smarm by Kirk Douglas’ ill-fated and underrated son Eric Douglas) when he
enlists race car driver hotshot Randy Starr to race his stock car at Daytona. Starr happens to be Tommy’
s idol – she has a poster of him at her work station and spends her days staring lovingly at his crotch
(no, I’m not exaggerating – watch the movie).
Anyway, Starr is kind of a sexist, conceited jackass, but a romance still ensues so we can get some of
Ms. Russell’s clothing off. Anyway, it all moves along at a snail’s pace until the finale which has Tommy
and Randy competing in a stock car race (can you guess the winner?).
The film masquerades as some sort of feminist lecture. The ground-breaking notion that women are just
as good men and can do anything men can do is driven home with a sledge hammer. And we, the now
enlightened all-male audience applaud because our eyes have been opened – and there were many
boobs for us to see!
Seriously, the fact that “Tomboy” sells itself as a feminist statement is an insult to anyone watching.
Sure, the men are portrayed as strictly deplorable, but how much better do the ladies come off? Most of
the women in the movie are tramps like the Seville character, yanking off their tops for anyone or
anything (Michelle Bauer makes an unbilled cameo pulling up in a car and ripping her shirt off for no
apparent reason – seriously!).
Anyway, we probably shouldn’t think too deeply about “Tomboy” – clearly the people who made it didn’t,
why should we? It is what it sets out to be – 90 minutes of brainless boobs with a pseudo-“Flashdance”
gimmick. It’s crap, but my pals and I rejoiced in high school.
Any guy who had HBO and was a teenager in the mid-80’s no doubt has fond memories of this one. It
was on all the time (it must have cost them a nickel to run) and is loaded with gratuitous female nudity.
What’s not to love?
Well, watch it as an adult and find out. It’s not terrible, but it’s not very good. It’s very average, and
actually pretty slow-moving junk.
This is clearly the fallout from the “Flashdance” attack – looking at this now really drives home the point
of what a phenomenon that silly little dancing movie was and how it really impacted culture as we know
it.
Betsy Russell, the snooty and constantly naked rich girl everyone hated in “Private School,” here
extends her considerable acting arsenal by taking on the opposite role - that of the grumpy and
constantly naked poor girl everyone seems to tolerate. And she’s as brilliant here as she was in the
earlier film. Actually, whether she’s the prissy boarding school girl who never wants to get her hands
dirty or the tomboy mechanic who’s hands are always dirty, she seems equally snippy. No one does
snippy quite like the extraordinarily talented Ms. Russell, which makes her lead character a bit hard to
really give a shit about.
Granted, almost every guy in the movie is a jerk, a degenerate, an egomaniac, a weasel, or even a
potential rapist, but my wife still had to comment at one point what a bitch the she was. We get very little
insight into how she became such a great mechanic, why she doesn’t date, and whatever happened to
her astronaut father, and we don’t really care.
Plus, naming the character Tommy or ‘Tomasina Boyd’ is tacky beyond belief – it’s worse than say,
naming her grating, slutty best friend Seville. This is, of course, so she can quip that she’s ‘like the
Cadillac Seville - but more expensive.’ Actually she’s not even close – she’s really quite cheap and
throws herself at anyone that can do anything for her modeling/acting/dancing career which allows for
not one but two horrid musical numbers and some additional nude scenes.
Anyway, the story has Tommy and Seville getting mixed up with the town millionaire jackass Ernie Leeds
Jr. (played with masterful smarm by Kirk Douglas’ ill-fated and underrated son Eric Douglas) when he
enlists race car driver hotshot Randy Starr to race his stock car at Daytona. Starr happens to be Tommy’
s idol – she has a poster of him at her work station and spends her days staring lovingly at his crotch
(no, I’m not exaggerating – watch the movie).
Anyway, Starr is kind of a sexist, conceited jackass, but a romance still ensues so we can get some of
Ms. Russell’s clothing off. Anyway, it all moves along at a snail’s pace until the finale which has Tommy
and Randy competing in a stock car race (can you guess the winner?).
The film masquerades as some sort of feminist lecture. The ground-breaking notion that women are just
as good men and can do anything men can do is driven home with a sledge hammer. And we, the now
enlightened all-male audience applaud because our eyes have been opened – and there were many
boobs for us to see!
Seriously, the fact that “Tomboy” sells itself as a feminist statement is an insult to anyone watching.
Sure, the men are portrayed as strictly deplorable, but how much better do the ladies come off? Most of
the women in the movie are tramps like the Seville character, yanking off their tops for anyone or
anything (Michelle Bauer makes an unbilled cameo pulling up in a car and ripping her shirt off for no
apparent reason – seriously!).
Anyway, we probably shouldn’t think too deeply about “Tomboy” – clearly the people who made it didn’t,
why should we? It is what it sets out to be – 90 minutes of brainless boobs with a pseudo-“Flashdance”
gimmick. It’s crap, but my pals and I rejoiced in high school.
 |
Rating;
| by Jim Haggerty |
