(6/10)
OK, I cringed when I saw Christopher Lee's name go by in the opening credits. Like most horror film
greats, Lee endured those lean years when he'd condescend to appear in schlock like "Jocks" to
collect a paycheck. This sort of thing never made sense to me. Sure, I understand being down on your
luck and needing work so you're taking roles that are clearly beneath you, but were there no horror
movies in production at the time? I mean, just because you played Dracula doesn't mean you should
have an agent that sucks!
Christopher Lee playing some flaky adult in a tacky horny teenager comedy makes no sense. Couldn't he
have showed up in a "Friday The 13th" sequel/rip-off as Jason's creepy uncle who tries to close down
Camp Crystal Lake or something? Sure, it would be beneath him, but it would be more in line with his
talents than this or the absolutely wretched "Rosebud Beach Hotel" (any of you other late night cable
junkies of the 80's remember that turd in a blender?).
Alas, the one thing actors tend to hate even more than unemployment is typecasting. So rather than
play supporting scary roles in schlocky horror, Lee must have decided on junk like "Jocks" because he
thought maybe it would open him up to a whole new type of role, much like Leslie Nielsen's successful
second life in slapstick after "Airplane!" and "Police Squad!". He'll play the gay biker in "Serial" or the
college President in "Jocks" as his way of saying, "Look, I have a sense of humor, I can be funny - are
you getting all this, Mel Brooks and Woody Allen???".
Well, unfortunately (or fortunately) Lee's comic career never caught fire and he graduated to the
occasional bit part here and there and being a living legend of the horror world. But in 1986's "Jocks"
he joins fellow hard-up established actors Richard Roundtree and R.G. Armstrong (character actor that's
been in a ton of movies you remember - he was Chuck Norris' grumpy boss in the excellent "Lone Wolf
McQuade" from the same director) to lend some credibility to this silly sex-starved teenagers romp. It's
an old Hollywood formula - get a cast of late 20's/early 30's nobodies and have them pretend they're high
school or college students and nab a few known older actors (usually past their prime and desperate)
and stock them in the movie for five to ten minutes screen time so your movie has marquee value.
This formula dates as far back as the 40's with those awful East side Kids movies Bela Lugosi got stuck
in. Bela gets his name stuck up at the top of the credits even though he's only in the movie for about
ten minutes of the movie (the best ten minutes hands-down) and the rest of the running time is filled
out by the asinine antics of the forty-something Bowery Boys.
On an interesting note, that was the original idea for "Caddyshack". The movie was supposed to focus
on the bland kids playing the caddies and Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray, and Ted
Knight were all supposed to have bit parts and cameos. But when the pros arrived on set, the decision
was made to make their parts bigger and let the caddies support them - like caddies, you might say. It
was a good idea and that inspired bit of re-working led to "Caddyshack" being remembered as one of
the all-time great American comedies and "Jocks" being...well not remembered by anyone.
OK, now that I've spent a page hammering away at "Jocks" in concept and execution as if it was some
pox on American cinema, let me do a complete about-face and say I liked this movie. It's not great. It's
silly, fluffy nonsense which is kind of scattered and hit-or-miss, but dare I say it hits more than it misses
and turned out to be a much better movie than I anticipated.
The plot has College president Lee coming down hard on Physical Education Head Armstrong because
the college hasn't won any championships since he took over and the alumni do not support colleges
that don't win championships. The only team with any shot at winning a championship is the tennis team
who Marshall was hoping to close down because he feels tennis is a sport for wimps. So he in turn puts
pressure on likeable tennis coach Roundtree to win the championship or he's fired. There's the set-up
by the adults.
Next we meet the ragtag team of goofs. They're led by pretty boy 'The Kid' - yes, even when the
President and Department Head discuss him they refer to him as 'The Kid.' 'The Kid' almost sinks the
movie early on because he's such an unlikeable character. He's a staple of this kind of 80's teenager
movie - good-looking but completely vapid, self-absorbed, manipulating jerk who lives like a slob,
thinks everything he does his funny and speaks only about getting drunk and partying. Somehow this
was considered 'cool' in the 80's but frankly when you watch him crash into a beer truck and then start
laughing about it while beer falls on his head I must admit I was hoping for an explosion.
Anyway, 'The Kid' and some of the other annoying members of the team - including Don Gibb (Ogre from
"Revenge of the Nerds") who goes around ripping arms off of slot machines and breaking tennis
rackets in half (that gets old REAL fast), and Stoney Jackson as a Prince look alike who chases every
woman he sees, yet walks and talks like women are the last thing he'd be interested in (kind of like the
real Prince) aside, the movie does maintain a nice level of light-hearted good humor. There are many
laughs as the motley crew make there way to Vegas for the big game. And even though we can kind of
see the happy ending coming from the opening credits, it's still a good time.
Also of interest, keep an eye out for Mariska Hartigay who has won several Emmy Awards for her role on
"Law and Order." I'm guessing she leaves "Jocks" off the resume, though Jay Leno may want to dig up a
copy to embarrass her with on her next "Tonight Show" appearance as he tends to do.
"Jocks" is available as part of the 8-movie set 'School Dazed' which also features good stuff like
"Tomboy," "The Van," and "Weekend Pass," making it a righteous deal for around ten bucks. Enjoy it at
the midnight hour!
OK, I cringed when I saw Christopher Lee's name go by in the opening credits. Like most horror film
greats, Lee endured those lean years when he'd condescend to appear in schlock like "Jocks" to
collect a paycheck. This sort of thing never made sense to me. Sure, I understand being down on your
luck and needing work so you're taking roles that are clearly beneath you, but were there no horror
movies in production at the time? I mean, just because you played Dracula doesn't mean you should
have an agent that sucks!
Christopher Lee playing some flaky adult in a tacky horny teenager comedy makes no sense. Couldn't he
have showed up in a "Friday The 13th" sequel/rip-off as Jason's creepy uncle who tries to close down
Camp Crystal Lake or something? Sure, it would be beneath him, but it would be more in line with his
talents than this or the absolutely wretched "Rosebud Beach Hotel" (any of you other late night cable
junkies of the 80's remember that turd in a blender?).
Alas, the one thing actors tend to hate even more than unemployment is typecasting. So rather than
play supporting scary roles in schlocky horror, Lee must have decided on junk like "Jocks" because he
thought maybe it would open him up to a whole new type of role, much like Leslie Nielsen's successful
second life in slapstick after "Airplane!" and "Police Squad!". He'll play the gay biker in "Serial" or the
college President in "Jocks" as his way of saying, "Look, I have a sense of humor, I can be funny - are
you getting all this, Mel Brooks and Woody Allen???".
Well, unfortunately (or fortunately) Lee's comic career never caught fire and he graduated to the
occasional bit part here and there and being a living legend of the horror world. But in 1986's "Jocks"
he joins fellow hard-up established actors Richard Roundtree and R.G. Armstrong (character actor that's
been in a ton of movies you remember - he was Chuck Norris' grumpy boss in the excellent "Lone Wolf
McQuade" from the same director) to lend some credibility to this silly sex-starved teenagers romp. It's
an old Hollywood formula - get a cast of late 20's/early 30's nobodies and have them pretend they're high
school or college students and nab a few known older actors (usually past their prime and desperate)
and stock them in the movie for five to ten minutes screen time so your movie has marquee value.
This formula dates as far back as the 40's with those awful East side Kids movies Bela Lugosi got stuck
in. Bela gets his name stuck up at the top of the credits even though he's only in the movie for about
ten minutes of the movie (the best ten minutes hands-down) and the rest of the running time is filled
out by the asinine antics of the forty-something Bowery Boys.
On an interesting note, that was the original idea for "Caddyshack". The movie was supposed to focus
on the bland kids playing the caddies and Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray, and Ted
Knight were all supposed to have bit parts and cameos. But when the pros arrived on set, the decision
was made to make their parts bigger and let the caddies support them - like caddies, you might say. It
was a good idea and that inspired bit of re-working led to "Caddyshack" being remembered as one of
the all-time great American comedies and "Jocks" being...well not remembered by anyone.
OK, now that I've spent a page hammering away at "Jocks" in concept and execution as if it was some
pox on American cinema, let me do a complete about-face and say I liked this movie. It's not great. It's
silly, fluffy nonsense which is kind of scattered and hit-or-miss, but dare I say it hits more than it misses
and turned out to be a much better movie than I anticipated.
The plot has College president Lee coming down hard on Physical Education Head Armstrong because
the college hasn't won any championships since he took over and the alumni do not support colleges
that don't win championships. The only team with any shot at winning a championship is the tennis team
who Marshall was hoping to close down because he feels tennis is a sport for wimps. So he in turn puts
pressure on likeable tennis coach Roundtree to win the championship or he's fired. There's the set-up
by the adults.
Next we meet the ragtag team of goofs. They're led by pretty boy 'The Kid' - yes, even when the
President and Department Head discuss him they refer to him as 'The Kid.' 'The Kid' almost sinks the
movie early on because he's such an unlikeable character. He's a staple of this kind of 80's teenager
movie - good-looking but completely vapid, self-absorbed, manipulating jerk who lives like a slob,
thinks everything he does his funny and speaks only about getting drunk and partying. Somehow this
was considered 'cool' in the 80's but frankly when you watch him crash into a beer truck and then start
laughing about it while beer falls on his head I must admit I was hoping for an explosion.
Anyway, 'The Kid' and some of the other annoying members of the team - including Don Gibb (Ogre from
"Revenge of the Nerds") who goes around ripping arms off of slot machines and breaking tennis
rackets in half (that gets old REAL fast), and Stoney Jackson as a Prince look alike who chases every
woman he sees, yet walks and talks like women are the last thing he'd be interested in (kind of like the
real Prince) aside, the movie does maintain a nice level of light-hearted good humor. There are many
laughs as the motley crew make there way to Vegas for the big game. And even though we can kind of
see the happy ending coming from the opening credits, it's still a good time.
Also of interest, keep an eye out for Mariska Hartigay who has won several Emmy Awards for her role on
"Law and Order." I'm guessing she leaves "Jocks" off the resume, though Jay Leno may want to dig up a
copy to embarrass her with on her next "Tonight Show" appearance as he tends to do.
"Jocks" is available as part of the 8-movie set 'School Dazed' which also features good stuff like
"Tomboy," "The Van," and "Weekend Pass," making it a righteous deal for around ten bucks. Enjoy it at
the midnight hour!
 |
Rating;
| by Jim Haggerty |
